24.11.09

A Glimpse into My NaNoWriMo Journey

For the past 24 days, I've been attempting to write a novel. The challenge to is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, which works out to an average of 1667 words per day. The intent is quantity, not quality, which is my only saving grace. I'm currently just shy of 40,000 words, which is a pretty huge accomplishment for me, not because I've written that many words, but because I haven't given up on my ideas. The hardest thing for me as a writer is to believe in myself and in my abilities. I feel like anyone can write 50,000 words in a month if they put their mind to it. And honestly, most days I feel like "anyone" in that I think my so-called "novel" is crap and that I'm just wasting my time writing it because it's drivel and garbage and worse. I especially lose heart and belief in my abilities when I read exceptionally crafted words by other people I know who are also doing NaNoWriMo. I feel like I'm deluding myself into thinking I actually have anything worthwhile to say and that I actually have any talent with this whole writing thing. But I think a huge part of being a writer is fighting, and conquering, your inner critic. So if the only thing I accomplish over these 30 days is to tell the insecure, "i'm-not-good-enough" writer inside of me to shut up and I keep writing anyway, I've succeeded. At least, that's what I tell myself to comfort and appease the part of me that is terrified that I'll hate what I've produced when this is over.