NaNoWriMo: Take Two

Well, right about now, another official month of novel writing kicks into gear and I'm really excited. I wasn't sure I was going to try it again this year, since I quit partway through last year, but I think I have a really good idea that has a ton of potential, so we'll see what happens. You can check out my progress here: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/406730

two poems: same topic, different approach

I wanted to write about the idea that sometimes, when we're treated by someone as if we don't matter, when someone who's supposed to care about us starts ignoring us, then sometimes it's easier to turn that indifference into our own and use it to deaden the pain of being treated badly. These poems began as one poem, but I soon realized that I had two distinct images going on and while I could link them, perhaps even well, it seemed like the poem should be separated into two. I like the first poem - "Narcotic" - better because I think that for some of us, emotion of any kind is like a drug and we often treat it that way... we allow our emotions to control us or we abuse them rather than learn how to process and own our emotions. The second poem - "Frozen Pyre" - actually encapsulates my original idea of countering anger by freezing oneself from the inside out to deaden the pain. I didn't spend as much time on it and I think it needs more work, but I still like the imagery. I hope you enjoy.

Narcotic

Your callous detachment cuts
so profoundly deep
the pain licks my bones.

So:

I compress my despair
into a capsule of disregard
and swallow it.

I willingly pierce my skin with your aloofness,
shoot your indifference into my veins.
Morphine for the agony.
Anaesthetic for the misery.

I wrap the tourniquet of your disinterest
around my heart so that,
although hardened crystals of insensitivity
sluggishly ride my thickening blood
and cut me open like broken glass,
the lacerations fail to revive.


I’ve distilled your cruelty into an opiate of apathy.

Frozen Pyre

How dare you ignore me?
Your impassivity is ignorant,
pitiless and malicious.

The fire of resentment
fuels my righteous indignation,
and burns me with rage.

Such intensity of emotion cannot be maintained
without permanent damage.

It’s a matter of survival:
I must cool the passionate embers
until dispassion takes their place.
I must allow your cold-bloodedness
to chill my heated blood.

I pack my heart in dry ice.
The permafrost is abysmal.
I become so brittle,
the flesh cracks off my bones.

I am freezing from the inside out.

And I am finally immune:
a senseless skeleton.

notes on creativity

I was doing some research while developing an ELA 30 unit plan and I came across this excerpt from the intro to a university course:

Creativity is a quality that is highly valued, but not always well understood. Those who have studied and written about it stress the importance of a kind of flexibility of mind. Studies have shown that creative individuals are more spontaeous, expressive, and less controlled or inhibited. They also tend to trust their own judgement and ideas-- they are not afraid of trying something new.

A common misunderstanding equates creativity with originality. In point of fact, there are very few absolutely original ideas. Most of what seems to be new is simply a bringing together of previously existing concepts in a new way. Psychologist and author Arthur Koestler referred to this merging of apparently unrelated ideas as bissociation. The fact that creative thinking is based on a knowledge of previous work in one's field is the justification for teaching the history and foundations of a given field as a resource for future research and creative work. It is possible to develop ones ability to think intuitively and creatively.

Thus creativity is the ability to see connections and relationships where others have not.

http://char.txa.cornell.edu/
[Red text my emphasis.]

I love this because it's my own understanding of creativity. Ecclesiastes asserts that "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say, 'Look! This is something new'? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time" (1:9-10). All creativity on earth originates and flows from the ultimate Creator; since we are all made in His image, we are all creative. Yet that also means that we cannot make something new: only God can make something from nothing. So, as creative beings, we are compelled to find fresh ways to work with what we have already been given.

Creativity especially interests me in the field of writing. I spend a lot of time reading and the stuff that fascinates me the most and draws me in the most deeply is created by writers who have figured out a new way to say something. They've painted an image in words or found a way to weave words together that is entirely unique and forces the reader to experience something from a new perspective. As an aspiring writer, I am constantly striving for a distinct way to present a known concept and thereby force my reader into a new experience with words and images and ideas.

Creativity is the ability to make the old new. Which is what Christ does for us: he transforms our old selves into renewed beings. Coincidence? I think not.

antidotes for a bad day

• reruns of favourite TV programs while curled up on the couch
• a hot bath with a glass of wine and a good book
• dinner with a good friend
• running in perfect fall weather
• msn chats with a long-distance friend
• quality time with a significant other
• going to bed early