I am intensely proud of both of you, yet there are shades of jealousy in each feeling of pride.
One, for your ability to weave words in a way that I have always dreamed of doing. It's not so much that I am envious of your greater talent, although I believe yours is greater than my own; it's more that you have taken the plunge and immersed yourself in the writing life. You've dedicated yourself to the craft and you've learned how to open yourself to the muse and to stay faithful to her, regardless of the risks - including judgment - that such an opening entails. You inspire the creative artist in me.
One, for your dedication to the craft of motherhood. It's not so much that I am envious of your sons, although I want my own children; it's more that you consistently strive to be a homemaker in the true sense of the word. You refuse to listen to the seductive voice of convenience in our society and you strive to create a high-quality, simple home life for your boys. Your courage and commitment to try all things "handmade" inspires the ambitious domestic in me.
You are both incredibly strong women who have achieved something in each of your lives that I desire for my own life; hence the smidgen of jealously. However flawed my admiration, I am honoured to call myself your sister. I can only hope to emulate each of you at some point in my life.
ahh *tear* I hope you know we both very much admire and also are envious of you too. AND I'm pumped you started a blog :) There. Can you tell I'm the mother one and not the writer?
ReplyDeleteOkay...so I have tears in my eyes now. I wonder if you know how much your opinion on my writing means to me. Its strange, because anyone could say they like it or its good, but I won't always believe it until maybe you say it. Then I feel like crying because you love english and writing and the fact that you like mine makes me feel all special and incredibly happy because I look up to you so much. And... you accept me for who I am even though I am odd and never seem to feel like I quite fit. So thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteAs for Hilda, I agree on everything you said, I hope one day im half as good of a housewife/mom as her.